Author Archives: Patricia Ann

When Love Hurts

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“When Love Hurts” is the title of a book relating to abuse in a relationship. authored by Jill Corey and Karen McAndless-Davis. The third edition is published by Penguin Randomhouse and is available on Amazon.com. The authors were recently interviewed on CTV and are currently traveling to promote their book.

Karen is the daughter of two of our congregation’s long time and much respected members who had no idea what their daughter was going through during the early years of her marriage.  Her story is related on Amazon and is a source of inspiration to those of us who have suffered abuse either directly or witnessed it.

Love hurts in other ways as well. It is called when “I do turns to I don’t”. This happens when one or the other partner in a relationship withdraws their love and affection little by little over the lifetime of the union. What is left is a shell. The shell maintains the normal activities of day to day living…all the things that keep a household going…the “his and her” agendas, the family get-together’s, the social functions to be attended.

But something is missing…and that something is the little things; the hand-holding, the hugging, the gentle touch, the communication, the togetherness that was there in the beginning and has somehow faded into the dailiness of living life.

Thanks to Karen and Jill for putting the spotlight on abusive relationships with their book Amazon.com: When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding

http://www.whenlovehurts.ca/authors/karen-and-bruce-story/          And thanks to the rest of us for recognizing the love that hurts in our own lives and rewriting our relationships to include the healing human touch.

Birds of a Feather

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“Birds of a feather flock together”. This is a quote that has been around for years, no, centuries. I take it to mean that the same kind of creature prefers the company of its own kind.

This post is about birds but also about the human experience. This morning I woke up feeling a little unsettled with myself…feeling as though my life is not meeting God’s expectations…and wondering just how I am going to remedy that. It was one of those moments where one feels unworthy for whatever reason; not just in God’s eyes but in the eyes of friends and family.

So, I took my feelings to my “prayer chair” which overlooks a garden containing a bird bath, feeder, flowers, and trees. Within minutes the yard was filled with birds. These were not “birds of a feather”. There was a blue jay and a cardinal sitting together on the fence. There were sparrows and a yellow finch quenching their thirst together. A red-headed woodpecker seemed to be teaching his youngster how to get this job done, when the mom showed up and joined in. Two mourning doves were doing their thing on the garage roof; you know what doves are like, billing and cooing all over the place.

There were two birds I didn’t recognize and had never seen before. They were a brownish yellowy color with a touch of orange or red on the back of their heads, and when they spread their wings to fly their backs were all white. I’ll look them up later.

Now I marveled at all this, especially when the cardinal and blue jay came and rested on my deck railing. I was in awe and wondered out loud why I was being treated to such a spectacular show of nature. It’s over now. There’s not a bird in the yard.

This whole scene helped to lighten my mood but the clincher was this. It was time for my daily devotional and when I opened my Bible, this is what I read in Luke 12:24 “Consider the ravens; they do not sow or reap…yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds.”

Birds of a feather? I was happy to see so many different species of feathers this morning, and happier still to receive the message they brought.

 

 

The Right to be Wrong

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We have the right to be wrong. Isn’t that an intriguing statement? It’s been around for awhile now, but I heard it only last week. Actually there is even a song with that title, written and sung by Joss Stone, an English singer and songwriter.

It is comforting to know that it is okay to be wrong once in awhile. But what is right about being wrong is to own up to it; to admit to it to whomever or whatever has been wronged. In so doing, it creates a learning experience; yes, a learning experience. The same as we learn…or are supposed to learn…from our mistakes, admitting we are wrong frees us from the fear and embarrassment of being wrong another time.

When is it right to be wrong? When a lesson is learned and a wrong has been righted. Am I right?

 

Busy Weekend?

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Two birthday parties beckon me this weekend…one for an eight-year-old great-granddaughter, and the other for a one-year-old great-grandson. Whatever you are up to, I hope it’s just busy enough to keep you happy and relaxing enough to give you rest. Happy

To Tie the Knot or Not

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I just have to write about these recent love stories I have either heard about or experienced first hand; not first hand for me but for someone close to me. This would cover the two recent weddings I wrote about, Barefoot Over the Bridge and The Unexpected Gift. These weddings involved young people in their twenties, two of my granddaughters, in fact. Both were beach weddings; one bride walked barefoot over a bridge and the other stood with her groom on a huge rock in the sea when the tide was out.

However, there is another wedding that I heard about. This is a couple who have been dating for a couple of years, fell in love and got married also just recently. You’re groaning, right? Who needs to hear about another wedding, right? Well this couple happens to be in their twilight years…she’s eighty and he’s eight-four. The bride made her own dress and looked just delightful (I saw a photo). Her groom was in more casual attire as it was a back-yard wedding. There was no mistaking the look of love on his face as he gazed at his beloved during the photo shoot.

And then I heard of a couple who have been married for sixty-four years, he’s in his nineties and she in her eighties. Every night without fail, hubby leans over and kisses his wife goodnight. “He’s been doing this since we got married,” she told me.

And then there are the couples who choose not to marry but have a deep love for each other. They live together in exactly the same way that they would have had they crossed over a bridge, stood on a rock, or taken vows in a back yard garden…or wherever.

Love and commitment are very evident in the lives of all these people, young or old, large weddings or small, and whether they decided to tie the knot or not.

God bless them all.

 

The Unexpected Gift

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Have you ever received more than you expected?  A week ago on Saturday I welcomed a sixth grandson-in-law into my growing family. Before the day was over, however, I was overwhelmed with the gift of another grandson-in-law…totally unexpected.

Amberley and Chris had married on the previous Tuesday in the Channel Islands…Jersey, to be exact. It was a small and private wedding, which, they tell me will be followed by many celebrations in various parts of the world where they have so many more friends and family.

Both sets of parents, along with siblings and a few friends attended this very special occasion. I do wish I could have been there.

Love knows no bounds when it comes to people meeting people. Chris is from Scotland, Amberley is from Jersey; one works in Houston, Texas, the other just moved from Dubai, and they met in Whistler, B.C. I hear it was love at first sight, and I don’t doubt it because it was the same for me when I first met this new family member.

If you can be hung over from an overdose of love, then I have the biggest hangover in history. But I’m not complaining; in fact I’m enjoying the after-buzz very much.

So, I guess the moral of this story is that you never know what’s waiting for you in each future moment.

Many congratulations and blessings Amberley and Chris and thank you so much for my unexpected gift.

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