Thank you my child, for being the person you are.
To know you is to know a sensitive, caring, loving and loyal young being. When you entered this world you were born to be a blessing to all who would know you. You were born to love, to learn, to teach, to share, to be you in all the ways that being you is possible.
As life is lived there are lessons to learn. First you learn to walk and talk. It seems to take forever, and after stumbling and stammering countless times, you succeed. You are now free to pursue other areas of this wonderful journey of life. Soon you begin to discover yourself. After accomplishing walking and talking you find yourself being taught what is generally known as discipline. Some refer to it as being ‘picked on’. Discipline is a very important part of life’s lessons. Without it you wonder what is expected of you by your peers, yourself, figures of authority, and the world in general. Hopefully it is very early in life that most of us learn this most important lesson. You did and you accepted the responsibility that goes with it.
Now you can walk, talk, think, feel, learn, discern and enjoy being the wonderful person you were born to be.
Then it happens.Your world as you know it is suddenly distorted by the views and actions taken by the special people in your life. The people you have loved all your life.
Well, child, these people also learned how to walk, talk, think, feel, learn and discern, and now it appears to you that they seem to have forgotten the real meaning of all these lessons.
We learn to walk through life with those in our lives.
We learn to talk and communicate with those in our lives.
We learn to think about life and those in our lives.
We learn to know our feelings, and to think of the feelings of others.
We learn to tell the difference between living for ourselves and having consideration for others.
We continue to learn by keeping our minds open to all these things, allowing us to discern between what we expect our lives to be like and what our lives are really like.
Now we are faced with decisions our loved ones have made regarding their own lives. These are their decisions. We may not like or agree with them, and when the consequences affect our lives, we begin asking ourselves the question, why are we being confronted with this bizarre behavior? In our minds it is bizarre behavior. Having learned to respect ourselves and others we are suddenly dealing with whatever it is that has prompted these special people to act out this part of their life journey. Sadly, we find our respect for them diminishing.
The key words though, are, their life journey. We hurt. We cry. We find our loyalties being pulled in all directions. Our life is not the same. When will it all end? When will everything get back to normal? Why does it have to be this way? What can we do about it? How can we change it?
The answers are inside you. The answers are what you have been learning, thinking, feeling and doing since you were born. You have learned your lessons well and the time has come to apply them.
You allow your loved ones to walk their paths.
You tell them your feelings, but you let them walk their paths.
You think of them as their own persons, with their own thoughts and feelings, which are separate from yours.
You love them and know that although they are on a different path at this moment they still love you.
Just know that whatever decision has been made in their lives, though it affects yours, your only responsibility to them is to continue to love them. Their decisions can only harm you if you cease to be true to yourself. You have discipline. As you continue to love them unconditionally, not allowing their actions to influence your thinking or behavior in a negative way you will come to accept the path they have chosen. It may or may not be the right one for them, and in your mind it is certainly not the right one for you. For now it must be.
In closing, let me remind you to live your life free from the guilt others would impose upon you, free from the necessity to impose guilt upon others, and free to love and be loved unconditionally.
This is the way I love you. This is the way God loves you. This is the way love is.
(This letter was written many years ago to some very special people in my life).