Sometimes we have choices to make that are not always easy; in fact most times are not. Here is a little something I found on Pinterest that makes choosing easy for me. Happy Wednesday.
Play on Words
Continuing Saturday’s play on words known as lexophilia:
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
England has no kidney bank but it has a Liverpool.
I was told I had type-A blood but it was a typo.
When chemists die they barium.
I’m reading a good book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
Why were the Natives here first? They had reservations.
I didn’t like my beard at first but then it grew on me.
When you get a bladder infection, urine in trouble
A dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary is a known as a thesaurus.
All the toilets in New York City have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
That’s the end of lexophilia laughs until another time. Enjoy your day.
God Has a Sense of Humor
And so should we, even on Sunday. Proverbs 17:22 says A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
*One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor stood by the little boy and said, “Good morning, Alex.” “Good morning, Pastor,” he replied still focused on the plaque.
“Pastor, what is this?” he asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly they stood together staring at the large plaque when finally Alex, his voice barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, “Which service was it, the 9:45 or the 11:15?”
*Found on the internet 7/4/2016.
Happy Sunday.
More Lexophilia Laughs
Now that I’ve found this new word, lexophilia, I’m insatiable as you can see:
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
A girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
What about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.
And then there’s the guy who got a job at a bakery because he kneaded dough.
And the man who dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Velcro – what a ripoff!
Broken pencils are pointless.
Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
That’s all for today, folks.
Happy Saturday
A New Word (for me)
In case you’re not familiar with the word lexophilia here is an explanation I found online:
“Lexophile” is a word used to describe those who have a love for words, especially those set in a new framework.
“You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”
Here are a few other examples:
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. The details are sketchy.
I tried to catch some fog but I mist.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
The guy who’s addicted to brake fluid says he can stop at any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
There’s more where these came from. Stay tuned.
A Sunday Prayer
Breathe on us breath of God as we welcome your Holy Spirit into our hearts.
Make us aware that talking about you is not the same as talking to you. Help us to do both.
Help us to overcome the obstacles that prevent us from enjoying a relationship with you.
Help us to trust you with the problems we face and the decisions we make.
When we are depressed and anxious help us to feel your love, peace, and presence.
When we lose our sense of compassion, remind us of your compassion for us.
Make us humble enough to know that without you we are incomplete.
Remind us to pray for one another that you would replace our grief with peace, our sickness with healing, our poverty with prosperity, and our self centeredness with thoughts of others.
Grant us the grace to live this day in your strength. Amen.
Happy Sunday.
Life’s Angels
To follow up on last Wednesday’s blog, I found another angel song that touched me; and also another scripture about angels. I’m so happy to find my angels again. Happy Saturday.
Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. Revelation 5:11
We’ve Got Your Back
Can’t you just hear these cygnets saying, “Hey Mom, we’ve got your back.” Happy Thursday.
In the Arms of an Angel
Music can have a healing and comforting effect when life serves up unpalatable portions of insomnia, depression, anxiety, health issues, and other problems that rob us of a peaceful and fulfilling life.
Here is one of my favorite songs that brings comfort when any of the above threaten my well-being.
Lord, Hear Our Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for hearing our prayer. Help us to be still and know that you are God.
We pray that you will help us to concentrate on our faith instead of our fears, on our triumphs instead of our troubles and on your power instead of our problems.
Help us to see our shortcomings and overcome them.
Show us that when we are unkind, inconsiderate or unthinking, impatient, indifferent or disrespectful, we hurt others, and in so doing, hurt you.
Remind us that forgiveness is a prerequisite to peace.
In the decisions we face daily grant us the wisdom of Solomon.
For the times we are easily provoked grant us the patience of Job.
When we are tempted to doubt your promises, God, grant us the faith of Mary.
We pray for world peace, sound governments, the end of terrorism of every kind, and the prevention of dread diseases.
We pray that you will help us become the people you want us to be.
Lord, hear our prayer. Amen.
Happy Sunday.
My Precious Life 