Tag Archives: caregiving

No Matter What

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Here is a verse that had me baffled for awhile. The promise is so promising that I didn’t expect to experience anything but wonderful events in my life.

However, what followed after reading Jeremiah 29:11 in 1995 was anything but promising.

Through the years, I suffered broken bones, business loss, cancer, heart disease, and the death of the second love of my life,

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

These are the plans you have for me Lord? Forgive me if I don’t seem too excited to embrace them!

But embrace them I did. My bones healed; caregiving replaced retailing; I survived lung cancer and heart disease, and grief gave way to peaceful acceptance. Prosperity isn’t always of monetary value. Believe me, I am prosperous in more ways than one.

The point is to keep on believing in God’s good, despite the disasters life throws at us.

Through it all, my faith stayed strong…no matter what.

Why Should I Get Involved?

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The second prayer in Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To is God, Make Me An Instrument. The chapter is called Why Should I Get Involved, and talks about the many ways God sends suffering people our way when we say this prayer. Here is an excerpt from this chapter:

When you say to God, “Make me an instrument,” all God really has to do is channel some of these folks in your direction. There’s no need for him to perform any great miracles. No need for him to part the Red Sea. No need for him to send angels. He simply has to steer them your way. Like a conductor in a railway station who pulls a lever in order to make the tracks switch, God simply pulls a lever in heaven, and a veritable trainload of suffering people will automatically be rerouted in your direction! Then it’s up to you. You’ll have to figure out the best way to help them. It may be as simple as offering a kind word of advice or lending them a few dollars; it may be as difficult as donating a kidney or saving their life in a fire. Whatever you have to do, though, you can be sure that you will be able to rise to the occasion. If God sends you someone to assist, he is also going to give you the time, the resources, and the wherewithal to do it.

It was 1999 when forced retirement found me with so much time on my hands, I said a similar prayer, but instead of “God, make me an instrument” my words were more like “Please send me someone to help.” Looking back, I can see where that prayer led me to volunteer work in a long term care facility, and in 2000 into caring for my own life partner who developed Parkinson’s Disease and Alzheimer’s. That was the peak experience of my being an “instrument”, as it eventually became a 24/7 caregiving assignment until his death in 2007. Today I am a member of the Pastoral Care Team at church, and God has sent several people my way who need either a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen or just a hug. I love being “an instrument” even though I never considered myself as such.

Monday: What’s In It for Me? … God, Outdo Me in Generosity

 

She bit me!

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Having just concluded a conversation with a congregation member whose husband had recently been diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease, I happened upon a blog relating to LBD. Because of the timing, circumstances, and potentional helpfulness of the post, I am reblogging it here.

sbeisler's avatarLewy, Momma, and Me

Okay, so the title makes it sound all dramatic.  I was simply trying to get Momma’s teeth out for the night and she bit down.  Kind of hard.  I jumped and yelped and then Momma proceeded to apologize profusely. For a split second I could see the Momma of my childhood.  The one who had total concern for her children’s health and well being.  The one who would not purposely hurt me and was horrified to think she may have.  The one who made everything better when you were having a rough time.

Not the one who stares at you glassy eyed.  Not the one who had tremors so bad last night we almost thought she was having a seizure.  Not the one who answers most questions with a “yes.. no.. ”  after a few minutes. Not the one I have to change as she moans “oh no, oh no”…

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It’s Called Alzheimer’s

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Being in a pastoral care environment, dementia is one of the major issues we see. It has also touched my life personally, and inspired the following poem.

IT’S CALLED ALZHEIMER’S

My love, where did you go?

How many times were you warned

that you would make yourself sick with worry?

And you did.

Not that worry robbed you of memory,

but it left little room for enjoying your life

before it was claimed by dementia.

I look at the shell that is left of you and my heart hurts.

Your eyes are still sky blue,

but the twinkle is gone…replaced by a vacant stare.

When a hint of recognition breaks through,

my heart soars, only to plummet

as the flash of memory disappears once again

into the distance of the disease.

It’s called Alzheimer’s.

It has robbed you of your life, and me of my life partner.

©2006

To all whose partners have succumbed to this disease, and to those who are caring for loved ones while watching them disappear little by little, my heart and prayers go out to you.

Thoughts on Caregiving

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To some of us, caregiving can become a daunting task, especially when it is a loved one who goes from a healthy independent person to almost completely helpless.

Patience is tried, sleep is denied, and nerves become frayed from the enormity of the responsibility.

But think of it another way.

It is an awesome responsibility we have been entrusted with; the caregiving of another human being. We should feel privileged that God deemed us capable and worthy of this task.

“In as much as you did it to the least of these my brethern, you did it unto me.” Matthew 25:40

 

Perseverence with a Capital P

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This post is for those who have not already read My Precious Life. It is Chapter Twenty-Nine, The Way I See It, in its entirety. It is about laying down our lives for our friends.

I need to persevere in promoting my book if it is to become a best seller some day. So here is Chapter Twenty-Nine

The Way I See It

A Lesson in Laying Down Your Life

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

The way I see it, this doesn’t mean that you trade places with the guy tied to a railway track with an oncoming locomotive barreling down on him, or with Jesus on the cross.

In 2004, I worked three days a week at the Canadian Bible Society book store. It was a part-time job that I loved, and had done for close to five years after my forced retirement from the Mustard Seed Gift Shop. It was a perfect match for my spiritual beliefs, retail background, and love of books.

Volunteering at Providence Health Care Centre every Tuesday morning was another activity I loved. A dedicated man and wife team conducted a hymn sing for the residents of the long-term care facility there. My responsibility was to help bring the people to the hymn sing, turn pages for them if they were unable, and just generally encourage them to sing along. Again, it fitted perfectly with my love of music, and a closeness I felt with the older generation, (of which I am one).

Lunch or coffee with friends or family was also a weekly occurrence. At church, I was a member of the Worship Committee, and sang in the choir.

That life gradually changed when Jerry was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2000. It wasn’t debilitating until symptoms of dementia became noticeable in 2002. A once strong and active man became a victim of the dreaded disease known as Alzheimer’s.

In January, 2004, it was obvious that he could never be left alone again, and my life took on a whole new dimension. God had given me an awesome responsibility as Jerry’s full-time caregiver, and in order to carry it out, I was forced to give up my part-time job and the volunteer work I loved so much. Church, choir, and committees were put on a back burner until only God knew when. Likewise, all social activities became painfully few and far between as the task at hand took its toll on the life I once knew.

I had, in fact, laid down my life for my friend. That’s the way I see it.

“….whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

My Precious Life is available in E-book, soft cover, hard cover, and can be purchased online at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Amazon.uk, Barnes and Noble, Westbow Press, and numerous online book stores as well as your local book stores.

Thank you for persevering with my perseverence!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Garden Full of Flowers

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I have met many different people while visiting long-term care facilities, nursing homes and hospitals, as part of my volunteer duties.

One man I met, Mr. Flowers, was an amputee, and while he had no legs from above the knees, he sat high in his wheel chair and had a commanding presence. He was of sound mind, whereas some of his fellow residents had lost this faculty, and Mr. Flowers often found it difficult to find someone to talk to. He had been a high school teacher in his working years, and it was easy to engage him in conversation.

When he learned that I wrote poetry, he asked me to write a poem specifically for him. Being the kind of man he was, and his unusual name, it didn’t take me very long to come up with the following poem:

A Garden Full of Flowers

      (for Mr. Flowers)

 A garden full of flowers

when tended with great care

or tended not at all

if wildflower seed is planted there

will reap its keeper plenitude

in fragrant showy splendor

and bring the memory of spring

come blustery December.

Blooms spring forth upon the mind,

deep wine rose and purple phlox,

daffodils of yellow,

multicolored hollyhocks

replace the snow and blizzards

in the darkened winter hours

and keep alive in mind’s great eye

that garden full of flowers.

©Patricia Ann Boyes

March 7, 2005

You would think I had given him back his legs when he read that poem! He beamed the brightest smile that nursing home had seen in a very long while, and I got a hug that almost toppled him out of the wheel chair.

What a blessing to see the happiness a string of words, placed in the right order on a simple piece of paper could bring to a person.

Mr. Flowers, who didn’t seem to have any religious affiliations whatsoever, shouted, “God bless you!” as I entered the elevator to leave that day’s visiting behind.

“He already has, Mr. Flowers,” I said, “He already has!”