On Monday, Oct. 21, I posted What are the Chances. One of my sons has corrected me on the time frame of that memory.
I noted that my niece had passed away twenty years ago at the age of eighteen when in fact it was forty years ago.
On my part that was a simple error in time. But time does have a way of passing so quickly that we do lose track of it.
Does that make the recording of last Thursday’s event any more impactful? I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that whether it was one year or fifty years in time passage, the impact on me that day will remain with me for the rest of my life.
“I can barely tolerate my parents, now.” This from a middle aged woman I met in a supermarket not long ago. I was reaching for an item on a top shelf and she, being much taller, retrieved it for me. She asked if there was anything else I needed. The woman then guided me to the next item I had trouble finding.
“You are a geriatric person. I can tell,” I commented.
“Not really,” she said. And that was when she offered the opening comment, “I can barely tolerate my parents, now.They are in their eighties and showing their age.”
Yesterday, I read a post by Roger Baker, “The Worth of a Man”. It’s a tribute to a man celebrating his eightieth birthday and how some people have shunted him to the back burner of their lives. https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/24904117
And to those people he wrote a poem where one line stood out for me. “You spurn the soul what made you.”
“You spurn the soul what made you.” There is so much truth in that tiny sentence, as proven by the woman in the supermarket.
Some of us in this age bracket are noticing this phenomenon and wondering…what are we worth?
Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 71:9 NIV
“When Love Hurts” is the title of a book relating to abuse in a relationship. authored by Jill Corey and Karen McAndless-Davis. The third edition is published by Penguin Randomhouse and is available on Amazon.com. The authors were recently interviewed on CTV and are currently traveling to promote their book.
Karen is the daughter of two of our congregation’s long time and much respected members who had no idea what their daughter was going through during the early years of her marriage. Her story is related on Amazon and is a source of inspiration to those of us who have suffered abuse either directly or witnessed it.
Love hurts in other ways as well. It is called when “I do turns to I don’t”. This happens when one or the other partner in a relationship withdraws their love and affection little by little over the lifetime of the union. What is left is a shell. The shell maintains the normal activities of day to day living…all the things that keep a household going…the “his and her” agendas, the family get-together’s, the social functions to be attended.
But something is missing…and that something is the little things; the hand-holding, the hugging, the gentle touch, the communication, the togetherness that was there in the beginning and has somehow faded into the dailiness of living life.
Thanks to Karen and Jill for putting the spotlight on abusive relationships with their book Amazon.com: When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding
http://www.whenlovehurts.ca/authors/karen-and-bruce-story/ And thanks to the rest of us for recognizing the love that hurts in our own lives and rewriting our relationships to include the healing human touch.