Needing a Chuckle?


At the risk of some duplication I offer a few more collected chuckles.

I tried to catch some fog but I mist.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

When chemists die they barium

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the grass.’

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Until next time…

Lest We Forget


Please join with me in remembering…lest we forget…

IN FLANDERS FIELDS POEM
The World’s Most Famous WAR MEMORIAL POEM
By Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae

Lieutenant Colonel John McCraeIn Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead: Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved: and now we lie
In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields

Composed at the battlefront on May 3, 1915
during the second battle of Ypres, Belgium

The Week that Was – The Crucifixion


Mary watched as her beloved son died on the cross…a mother’s worst nightmare…the death of her child.

Luke 23:26, 32-49 New International Version (NIV)

The Crucifixion of Jesus

26 As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene,who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.

32 Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33 When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”[b] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

35 The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him.They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

36 The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar 37 and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

38 There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.

39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.[c]

43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

The Death of Jesus

44 It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, 45 for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”[d] When he had said this, he breathed his last.

47 The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” 48 When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away. 49 But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.

 

Time Stood Still


Time stood still for a young soldier in Ottawa yesterday morning.

One minute he was standing guard for his country and the next minute he was gone; shot to death for no reason other than that he stood for freedom and peace.

Time also stood still for the person responsible for such savagery.

One minute he was dealing death and the next minute he, too, was dead—thwarted in his attempt to kill again.

It took only minutes for the clock of life to stop for these two men.

Heaven’s gates surely opened wide for the young soldier—and the other?

Time will tell.