Tag Archives: Togetherness

When Love Hurts

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“When Love Hurts” is the title of a book relating to abuse in a relationship. authored by Jill Corey and Karen McAndless-Davis. The third edition is published by Penguin Randomhouse and is available on Amazon.com. The authors were recently interviewed on CTV and are currently traveling to promote their book.

Karen is the daughter of two of our congregation’s long time and much respected members who had no idea what their daughter was going through during the early years of her marriage.  Her story is related on Amazon and is a source of inspiration to those of us who have suffered abuse either directly or witnessed it.

Love hurts in other ways as well. It is called when “I do turns to I don’t”. This happens when one or the other partner in a relationship withdraws their love and affection little by little over the lifetime of the union. What is left is a shell. The shell maintains the normal activities of day to day living…all the things that keep a household going…the “his and her” agendas, the family get-together’s, the social functions to be attended.

But something is missing…and that something is the little things; the hand-holding, the hugging, the gentle touch, the communication, the togetherness that was there in the beginning and has somehow faded into the dailiness of living life.

Thanks to Karen and Jill for putting the spotlight on abusive relationships with their book Amazon.com: When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding

http://www.whenlovehurts.ca/authors/karen-and-bruce-story/          And thanks to the rest of us for recognizing the love that hurts in our own lives and rewriting our relationships to include the healing human touch.

A Sight for Sore Eyes

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The scene was a red light in front of me and cars all around me. My eyes felt sore and sleepy from the exhaust of so many idling vehicles in such close proximity to mine.

Fingers impatiently tapping the steering wheel in anticipation of the light change, my peripheral vision picked up a couple slowly moving towards the curb. They had the green light. They looked ancient but were only elderly…and they were holding hands. I could see the old man’s lips moving, but obviously, could not hear his words. It was apparent that the light was going to change before they had a chance to cross the busy street. He let go of his wife’s hand and moved towards the light standard to push the button that would give them access to another green light, but of course, would have to wait a few minutes for that to happen.

Even though traffic had begun to move, and I now had the green light, my eyes lingered on the couple as he moved back to his lady’s side and once again held her hand.

That is one of my absolute favorite things in life, watching the elderly holding hands. It is comforting, uplifting, and a sight for sore eyes.

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.” Psalm 73:23

A Letter to the Me I Used to Be

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Dear You:

By “you” I mean the me I used to be. I miss you…I mean, really miss you. I miss your energy, stamina, strength. I miss the loves you shared and what those loves encompassed; caring, sharing, camaraderie, hugging, kissing, loving, walking, talking; in fact, just being together.

Do you remember those wonderful years of dancing, romancing, cottaging, boating, traveling…remember breakfast in bed? Of course you do or this letter would not be taking shape.

The years of motherhood and entrepreneurship were so time consuming and fulfilling…so satisfying and all encompassing.

The me I used to be no longer exists…instead, another me has emerged; quieter, more patient, slower in movement and thought; still gregarious but less so; more spiritual, maybe more thoughtful; still have the love, but no one to share it with.

And so, it is with fond remembrance that I write to you, to tell you that I appreciate all that you were, and will never really say goodbye to…

The Me I Used To Be

A Definition of Togetherness

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I love quotes, especially when they pertain to real life situations. This one by Kahlil Gibran from his book, “The Prophet”, is one of my favourites. A short form of it is “let there be spaces in your togetherness, for the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow”. It is a lovely reminder to allow each other room to grow in a relationship. I have enjoyed the writings of this author for many years, especially “The Prophet”.

Kahlil Gibran > Quotes > Quotable Quote

Kahlil Gibran

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Beautiful!