Some Saturday Chuckles


My night job is searching for funnies to share. My day job is sharing them. Happy Saturday.
“Diapers and politicians should be changed often…and for the same reason” Mark Twain
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.” Clarence Darrow
“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”– Clint Eastwood
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”– Dave Barry
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”– Erma Bombeck
“The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”– Fred Allen
“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”– Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”– Margaret Mead
“My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”– Milton Berle
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
OLD PEOPLE AT WEDDINGS ALWAYS POKE ME AND SAY YOU'RE NEXT SOI ...