Surrendering to a grave illness is not the same thing as surrendering to God. I had the wonderful opportunity to push my trust in Him to the limit in 2005, when I was diagnosed with lung cancer.
Chapter Thirty-Nine – I’m Still Here
“I have the results of your chest x-ray,” my doctor said, when I answered the phone that 24th of May, 2005. “There’s something growing in your lungs.”
My heart plummeted like a skydiver without a parachute. It was 5:10 pm and I had just had the x-ray at two o’clock that same afternoon.
“Your doctor will have the results in a week,” the technician had said as I left the lab.
“I’ve set up an appointment with a specialist for Friday, May 27th,” the doctor continued now. “You need a CT scan, and he can order it quicker than I can.”
My body tingled as I replaced the receiver. Things like specialist appointments and CT scans take longer than that in the real world.
In a daze, I walked back to the kitchen, where the supper I was enjoying sat half eaten on the table. With shaking hands, I cleaned my plate into the garbage. The only hunger I felt now was for peace of mind, which could only come from God.
“Oh, God, please relieve me of this dread, and let your peace flood my soul,” I prayed.
….may you live to see your children’s children. (Psalm 128:6)
Tomorrow – I’m a Believer – A Lesson in Knowing
My Precious Life 
I was with my mother when she received a call very similar to that. The feeling that came over me was so heavy it was all consuming. Watching her face change like that made my heart break. But when a situation is so big like that, the only thing you can do is give it too God. It was too much to even try to carry myself and I know it was the same for her too. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It does bring us closer to Him though. Bless you.
Thank you, Laurie. Everything worked together for good as you will see when my book comes out. How about your mother?
She lost her battle. But God has a plan in EVERYTHING. She had small cell cancer too. We knew from the beginning it would be fast. Only 7 weeks. I’m so glad your fight took a different path because I honestly feel blessed to be able to read the parts of your life you are here to share with us and I appreciate your willingness to do just that. Your memories are beautiful even when you are reflecting back over the tough times. God bless you my friend!