I’m Still Here

Surrendering to a grave illness is not the same thing as surrendering to God. I had the wonderful opportunity to push my trust in Him to the limit in 2005, when I was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Chapter Thirty-Nine  –  I’m Still Here

“I have the results of your chest x-ray,” my doctor said, when I answered the phone that 24th of May, 2005. “There’s something growing in your lungs.”

My heart plummeted like a skydiver without a parachute. It was 5:10 pm and I had just had the x-ray at two o’clock that same afternoon.

“Your doctor will have the results in a week,” the technician had said as I left the lab.

“I’ve set up an appointment with a specialist for Friday, May 27th,” the doctor continued now. “You need a CT scan, and he can order it quicker than I can.”

My body tingled as I replaced the receiver. Things like specialist appointments and CT scans take longer than that in the real world.

In a daze, I walked back to the kitchen, where the supper I was enjoying sat half eaten on the table. With shaking hands, I cleaned my plate into the garbage. The only hunger I felt now was for peace of mind, which could only come from God.

“Oh, God, please relieve me of this dread, and let your peace flood my soul,” I prayed.

….may you live to see your children’s children. (Psalm 128:6)

Tomorrow  –  I’m a Believer  –  A Lesson in Knowing


3 thoughts on “I’m Still Here

  1. I was with my mother when she received a call very similar to that. The feeling that came over me was so heavy it was all consuming. Watching her face change like that made my heart break. But when a situation is so big like that, the only thing you can do is give it too God. It was too much to even try to carry myself and I know it was the same for her too. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It does bring us closer to Him though. Bless you.

      • She lost her battle. But God has a plan in EVERYTHING. She had small cell cancer too. We knew from the beginning it would be fast. Only 7 weeks. I’m so glad your fight took a different path because I honestly feel blessed to be able to read the parts of your life you are here to share with us and I appreciate your willingness to do just that. Your memories are beautiful even when you are reflecting back over the tough times. God bless you my friend!

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